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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud bang. I jump like I’ve seen a ghost. Turns out, it’s just some kids playing with fireworks. Seriously? Who gives kids fireworks? I’m half tempted to go over and tell them to chill, but then I remember I’m not their parent. So, I just keep walking, shaking my head.

Councillor still committed to making Burntwood a better place despite county council election defeat